Below is an e-mail that I received from one of our ladies that goes to The Commons concerning the "Couple's Night Out" that the student ministry provided.
For almost a year and a half Grant has been struggling health wise. The first symptom came when he was about 4 months old when he would scream bloody murder every 30 -60 minutes thru the night. We went from doctor to doctor, enduring trial medications, exams and tests never to find an answer as to why he was seemingly in so much pain. During this time he was also being seen for a tumor that had grown to attach to his spine. No specialist thought that these two problems were related.
During this time our relationships had to take on different roles. We went into survival mode. We realized it was bad when everyone in the family other than myself and Grant had moved downstairs so they could escape the screams in order to get some sleep. Realizing that Mark needed to work to sustain the family, I would hold, pat and rock Grant all night upstairs trying to find something that would alleviate his pain and not ask for help. While we know this is not the best model of a marriage, our medical bills were racking up and we had to do what we had to do to get by.
As you know, this month Grant had surgery to remove his tumor and miraculously has slept thru the night ever since. It turns out the tumor had infiltrated to the nerves of his spine and that likely was the reason he would scream all night. We still have a long road ahead, medical bills to pay, and a years worth of chores and projects put on the back burner, but we are excited that with Grant's renewed health we will be better able to conquer those.
I think our marriage had turned into more of a partnership than a relationship. While in our heads we know we are married forever, but we had gotten to a place where we were not expressing our love to each other. If we could make time to get away, then we were faced with finding a sitter to watch all 4 children, and then the expense of a sitter, it often seemed like an overwhelming task to coordinate.
I may not be able to fully express my gratitude to you, the teens and all involved in coordinating Saturday night. We were able to go out, enjoy a dinner that did not include french fries, nor did anyone spill their drink. We were able to take our time, to talk to each other, to take our time talking to each other, all while knowing that our kids were safe, having fun, and not stressing about having to pay the sitter. We spent more time talking to each other Saturday night than probably the last year combined. We were able to just be, to escape with each other, and we were able to forget about the bills, the garage that needs to be cleaned, the yard that needs to be weeded. You gave us the best gift we could have asked for, you gave us time.
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you all,"
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